Hello. My name is Patrick Swailes Caldwell.

Why the Swailes?

I know, it's stupid. The whole three-name-thing. It's demanding. And not in a good way. 

Truthfully, it's because it's my mom's maiden name and she is one of two daughters from a rather small family, so the name dies with me (assuming I outlive my parents). 

So I use it. And I wear it proudly and demand annoyingly that people put it in my bios.

Because the patriarchy is stupid.

It took just as many Swaileses as Caldwells to make me. 

And yes, I'm sure my ancestors would shudder to think that they died in wars, or survived dysentery, or trudged to their school/factory/church, uphill, in-the-snow-both-ways,  just so they could eventually give rise to a self-centered pedantic clown who thinks it's courageous to force people to use a pretentious middle name, but that is what this website is about.

These are all the things I learned to do as kid while being the recipient of huge amounts of privilege.